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the best custom motorbike of 2011

ta da!

who likes no rules? we like no rules!

it’s robbie’s 1100cc inline four nsu chopper from last march. it is rivaled only by darizt at #2. there is no top ten, much less a #3. two teams play. only one wins. the other gets a mention in the history books. everybody else is a loser.

everybody who competes is a winner! you look thirsty. here, drink some kool-aid…

it also matters how nice you are to me. what? like the other big-ass-everything-is-corporate-white-and-blue websites don’t do that? they do. that’s why it’s all the same motorbike all the time like an aging rock band with one hit doing it over and over for twenty years, changing the lyrics for each “new” song.

what’s new this week at bae-cwb? one more f***ing tracker from deus. stay tuned tomorrow for another $30,000 bike dipped in black from wrenchmonkees!

screw those privileged ******** with a grand to spend each month for a few big-*** posts about everything they do, which is the same as the last thing they did. at least the ugly americans at occ know how to decorate a cake and always change the paint up. f***.

nsu 1100cc inline four chopper | photo by floris velthuis

you want thousands of art-directed photo shoots of conformity in a studio and 250,000 snooty art **** patting themselves on the back for their overpriced “creations” in the comment section? go to mega-cubicle’s corporate machine where they just realized the rat bike is cool. if you want independent views, you’re in the right place. live vicariously as i tell people to suck my sharts with regularity.

robbie wins because he is none of those bland and branded things. he is all of the things bM is about. he’s been at it for decades, doing as he pleases, slaving away in a tiny garage with what will get him by. he’s truly punk rock and his nsu chopper is unique, innovative, 100% custom, raw, and looks like it might turn into a sentient being demanding twinkies and brains. in that order. and you better get them.

so here you go, professor robbie. you are the winner of the 2012 bikerMetric banker award for excellence in sticking it to the corporate man!

yay you win

these photos of robbie’s chopper were taken by floris velthuis. yes, i get the irony of fancy pix. robbie’s bike was not chosen because of them, they only illustrate how incredibly talented the man is.

the creation of crazy motherf***ing
radical 1100cc nsu inline four chopper | robbie robinson
robbie with his gnarly nsu chopper | photo by floris velthuis


read more about the engine and the history of nsu here. watch out for the farts.

i’d like to thank my best frienemy, chris hunter, for having such a great sense of humor, understanding mine, and not taking himself – or me – too seriously. peace out, ****. thanks for the hit up.

the winner gets the logo

note to future submissions: this year i’m looking for handlebar-mounted weaponry like the bad guys from mad max or james bond on crack.

finally, will everybody stop with the firestone tires? they’re the custom metric builder’s answer to the weekend warrior’s tribal armband tattoo. they’re the affliction t-shirt of the cafe/bobber poser. they handle like sh*t and cost as much or more than a dozen other rubbers which will actually give you pleasure each time you take a corner. stop being such retro-is-so-cool douchebags. thank you.

for the non-douchebags, be sure to check out robbie’s blog at fumes-n-gears!

i feel like upbeat free jazz from japan. that can mean only one thing… cowboy bebop!

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  1. Thank you very much ,this bike cost me a total of about 300 pounds(600 dollars?)to build no occ or fancy parts for me ,just inginuity and imagination ,i have get a great kick out of all the compliments and praise,its really cool that my stuff is liked so much ,thanks to the likes of Trent reeker and bikermetric and all the other websites and groups,thank you all very much (do i get my 500 dollars now trent?)

  2. Awesome bike! Excellent choice! Now I want a girder front end.

  3. the check is in the mail, robbie.

  4. Robbie: Great bike mate, truly one of a kind in a herd of one-off bikes. Looks like there should be a warning posted on it about a propensity to eat small children or loan officers.

    Trent: Damnit! Every time I check this joint out I see ‘buttmunch gargle juice’ hahah! Yer killin’ me….tough to take the day seriously after that ****.

  5. ha! when i visit portland i’ll borrow your bathtub and stir some up!

  6. oh, and i ought to send a sticker for robbie’s bike that says “this machine kills fascists.”

  7. I love this bike! Sat here and stared at it for 5 full minutes before writing anything. Great job!

  8. awesome bike.love the copper bits on it.Wouldn’t dream of changing a thing.Good job man

    oh,and the rant about the firestones??? haha good stuff!

  9. i dare any site to show any bike more original, more raw, more innovative, and that isn’t for sale for 30k.

    it will never happen.

    best. bike. of. the. year.


  10. Trent, you’re slaggin off Firestones & at the same time extolling the virtues of this bike with its great engineering & anti corporate blah blah etc, when it’s rollin on fekn knobblies mate ! Talk about ***** tyres for a road bike…..
    F/stones may be a bit agricultural, but trail tyres ??? One drop of rain on the tarmac & that dizzy hangin off the end of that motor, is gonna be scrap, along with the rest of it.

  11. hi Robbie,
    best bike I ve seen In a long time.interesting,inovative,rare,artwork,style.
    it has it all.
    many thanks

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