AKA: DON’T F**K WITH ME AND I WON’T F**K WITH YOU
welcome to the freedom or death machine rebuild; a series of how to repair all the f***ed up sh*t on the “motorcycle” jeff yarrington from saint motorbikes “built” for me with a 1979 yamaha xs650, over three grand in cash (the bike was $850) and $3,000 in donated parts. he had four months to build it. he sat on it for most of that time and tossed it together in two weekends.
first up are the gas tanks. after owning the bike three weeks, the paint started to bubble. shortly afterward, the insides of the tanks began to rust. within a year, the tanks themselves leaked gas. right out of the bottom from numerous spots. it seems wherever jeff welded, the tanks leak.
it has been ridden five times. the brakes gave out on the second ride. the mechanic, limey, charged $420 (less than half his normal fee because i obviously suckered him) to make the bike “safe to ride.” so add another grand to the cost (i got a discount for suckering limey), before jeff’s “labor” and there is at least $7,000 into it.
but wait, there’s more! before limey got it, the bike was with matt from working man’s customs. matt was ****** because we took the machine to his garage and he gave up a month later after spitting “i’d charge $1,800 to do what i did to your bike and i’m done with it.” he went on to say it was too much and good luck. can’t say i blame him, although he should have seen the handlebars were almost 2″ off center before he went and spent an afternoon cutting and re-welding the internal controls which were so impossibly attached that only a man with hands the size of a professional nba center could use them. seriously. when he handed them to me, they felt funny. i laid them on the concrete driveway to discover the bars couldn’t be placed down in any way without wobbling drunkenly.
i laughed (it was that or punch matt in his know-it-all face). then i got mad. i told matt he should have listened to me when i said we’d deal with the bars last, not first.
the lesson i have learned is “a picture is pretty and people say a lot of sh*t they can’t really do.”
what i was told i’d get for my time and money and what arrived were in no way related. i thought i had a date with scarlett johansson but woke to discover a passed out crack w**** asleep in my bed, with my wallet and stereo gone, and an overpowering scent of urine in the air.
with matt’s assertion that he put $1,800 worth of labor into a bike that today still has crooked footpegs, a crooked passenger pad, uneven fender mounts, 7/8″ bars in 1″ brass risers (thanks for that one, too, matt), and more, over nine thousand dollars has been invested in a machine i won’t ride because i don’t think the frame is straight.
+ $3,700 cash
+ $3,000 parts
+ $1,800 half-assed metal re-fab
+ $1,000 mechanic
we’ll see about the frame as the ForD is taken apart and for the first time set on a jig.
that’s right. it was built without a frame jig.
at the moment it’s in georgia. my associate eric took the right tank off and that was what the inside looked like. he will be sending pix and updates for everything he repairs on the FREEDOM or DEATH MACHINE.
mind you, jeff owned an auto body shop for 15 years. besides fabbing these tanks from a set he got from some ****** on jockey journal, he covered them in a ten pounds of bondo. then he “painted” them.
they’re going to have to be re-built from scratch.
come back often to see all the before-and-after photos and information detailing how everything, and i mean EVERYTHING (the truth is shocking – expect a few dozen posts), was crooked, undone, half-assed, life-threatening, rusty, uneven, and generally nothing you want for anything but free since you’re going to have to re-build the rotten **** anyway.
it’s what you get when you give jeff and “saint motorbikes” seven grand and spend six months promoting him to tens of thousands of readers on your stupid biker blog. you get a shinya ripoff exhaust, “friends” who hate you because you’re ****** at them all, and a rusting, leaking, hazardous, crooked piece of f***ed up sh*t sitting and sitting because you can’t muster the money to hire the philadelphia project to transport the entire thing half way up jeff’s *******.
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