the don wood travel pack, bear repellent, and emo confusionizer

it isn’t a bedroll, it’s where you wrap clothes and toothpaste and a towel and socks. that is what’s inside this don wood bedroll. that roll carries a supplies for a week on the road.

there is still room for six condoms taped to six cans of beer, a 4g cell phone/corporate tracking device, and a wet, smelly towel comforting a teddy bear or an ounce of dope.

otherwise there’d be more beer.

for the owner of this kickass xs650 chopper: put your water/liquor bottle on your downtube instead of french kissing the *** of your exhaust. would you rather drink 300 degree water or 100 degrees?

poetry corner:

welcome to epic energy and jesus, the savior of your soul. who can’t think for himself. who was found dead on the phone. who listened to pink floyd recently. and drank gallons of beer. but didn’t smoke dope. nope. ’cause that’s illegal and we’d rather not say anything else about it. my publicist/white house chief of staff will brief you about it after i meet with my cabinet and we tell him what to say. we ask him why he was born in manchuria and he always replies, “what does that mean?”

in the cabinet we have a joke and it’s about being the first to tell (insert latest chief of staff here) the greatest lie the publicist/chief of staff believee and propagates onto the masses when they leave the room. my favorite was “trickle down.”

ha ha! joke’s on you!

it’s what pays for my mobile phone and beer. knowing these things and sharing this great wisdom i call “righteous anger.”

hold on for the latest newsflash from the king’s joker:

[muy importante joker says stuff then distracts you with and old pirate with gasping girl behind him and emo hitler posing in a hanes t-shirt and a pair of dickies]

hitler was such a douche.

unlike hitler, don wood not only has kick *** bedrolls, but t-shirts you can score on his website. they say “peace and grease.” i like that. it’s much better than “lawyers and lawmen” and “franks and jews.” cats and dogs, ladies and gentlemen. they are falling from the sky. be thankful the pigs can dodge them and continue to fly.

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