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post #76 of the unexpected

this is a post of loss and gain. of acceptance and misunderstanding. of dreams to be and those to forget.

this will not be as good as the one i was done with and lost. lest *** have mercy upon my angry soul.

i worked almost three hours on it, it was beautiful, but blogger is a giant f***ing piece of f***ing s**t. i never lost everything when i was working in dreamweaver or straight up in code for a client. now this post is a metaphor for so much happening in my life. now i must start over without being sad or mad. stupid f***ing corporate half assed bull***t.


“hate world. revenge soon. take out on everyone.” – homer simpson

today i received a box in the mail. it came as i was preparing to take a walk. i was thrilled because it was from falcon. i ripped it apart and was amazed at the gifts they presented.

i’ve been hard on them but somehow we’ve found a way to understand each other. it’s like high school. you wouldn’t talk or recognize another who did not belong to your clique. then a chance meeting years later and all is forgiven. “i remember you when…”

ha ha. it’s all so funny.

i told you the first post was better.

falcon sent me three shirts (three!), plus stickers and pins.

in the past i printed tees of my own. i used american apparel tees because it was american made and i’ve discovered their fabric loved me long time.

(NOTE: some of my work is written by asian slave labor teens who work as prostitutes on the side. that’s how i save money and pass it on to you, my reader.)

i still wear tees by american apparel eight years later. no holes in the armpits or anywhere. except for the one shirt i was wearing when i discovered how many layers of skin covered my bones one day on my vtx. that’s got a couple tears in it now. my skin healed. the tee still has rips.

knowing decent quality i can tell the falcon shirts are better than anything i have ever seen or worn. first, no tags you have to cut off. their brand is printed inside. which is excellent. next, i put their stuff on. my pierced nipples spoke to me, “dude. this rocks,” they said and my body agreed. nipples 1, body 1.

so i took some crappy cell phone pix. my pix are out of focus because the shutter speed is whacked and i cannot figure it out so 90% of my shots are blurry. i promise next time i’ll use drunkenness as an excuse. after taking a few clicks, i put on the falcon long sleeve, then my leather jacket, and walked to the quicky mart to gamble and purchase a couple of 40 ouncers.

yesterday i took the same walk in the same weather (36 farenheit – 2 celsius) but wore a thick hoodie under my jacket. today i was not colder and i was much less bulky.

after arriving back home with my stash, while finishing the editing of this post, blogger lost it. then i spoke the f-word very loudly a few times.

falcon’s fabric is not thick and it is not thin. after visiting their website i discovered that my nipples were right, their 100% cotton tees are made of “pima cotton.” what does that mean? it means their fabric is relatively rare and has the ability to stretch well over an inch and not tear. it also means that if you think forty bucks for a long sleeve is too much, go to walmart and spend $15 for a piece of **** and see how long before it falls apart.

i’ve been there and bought clothes for the daughter of the woman who loved me. we determined that target was much better because the kid’d outgrow those clothes long before she wore holes in them, like walmart made-in-china **** kept doing.

i can’t wait to wear my falcon tees this summer. with sunblock.

get one and wear it once a week for six months. ride it it. work in it. the falcon fabrics will last a decade. i promise. wear them every week. comment on this website that i was right or wrong. unless december 21, 2012 makes it so you can’t see me online any more. please know that i am either dead or killing bankers, politicians, cops, and pretty much anybody i don’t like when their eyes meet mine.

(malt liquor induced last sentence. ohmmm….) 

i told you the first post was better.

because the falcon tags do not state the fabric my nipples are loving (hey don!), and this is the second time i’ve writtten this tonight, and now i am drunk, and this post isn’t as good as the original, i wanna hug amaryllis and ian and rest my head upon their shoulders, weep a moment, then take them out to the frolic room for beer!

you’re bored. here’s pix:

blood falcon(s). juxtapositionary anti-reactionary love. blood and falcons:

the sickers on the machine that makes you do what i say.

see that silver button on the left? wear it and it will get you laid. seriously. it’s magic.

falcon motorcycles is run by good folks. my previous posts of ignorant anger are a foundation for us to discover who anamryllis and ian are. don’t think i’ve been bought. some day we will find out more about falcon motorcycles. they have much to tell.

come back to bikerMetric and discover the difference between rumor and truth.

remember though, that you gotta have hot asian chicks. that’s what dave and chris have. now i have to find one.

and please visit falcon’s store. it’s worth it.

peace out.

glug glug glug….

and another thing! ever look at what you just wrote and see how many times you used the word “i?”

my day of vanity and humility continues….

there. still not as good as the first one which was beautiful and poetic and funny. this was written after drinking 120 ounces of malt liquor and i was supposed to be editing the latest techTip. regardless of how much blogger sucks, if you wish to party with me, i’ll be wearing my falcon tees.

if you want one for yourself, please let them know the crazy man from that metric site sent you. my guess is you’ll get some stickers or something lovely in your package.

thanks, folks! everything about you guys is of the highest quality.


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  1. Hook a Brotha up! You got a 30-year supply of t-shirts. You KNOW it won’t be that long before a black van pulls up and snatches you up and takes you to a top-secret DHS holding facility. I dig Falcon’s bikes, but an outlaw preacher’s pay grade ain’t even in Falcon t-shirt territory.

  2. so you need two shirts and yer gonna go get some. **** two shirts. get one. from falcon.

    as for the black van. i have weapons and a gunshot is rarely placed in the kill zones. i have hunting knives. get that close, and welcome to the jungle, baby…

    oh. and peace and love. whatever i say and do i pray that jesus has my back.

  3. wow. i was loaded when i replied to you, russ. i got a 10-year supply because i’ll wear each shirt every week. that leaves four days for me to make my own shirts or keep on wearing my increasingly ratty dead kennedy’s tee and a beautiful long sleeve from a shop in nola.

    it’s like i said, spend 15 bucks every few months for a **** tee at walmart or spend 30 with falcon that will last infinitely longer.

    or i’m a liar.

    which do you believe?

  4. thank you for including me in such a beautiful post! i have a good story about falcon. remind me to tell it to you the next time we’re in the same room together!

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