Bikernet and bikerMetric are going to sponsor racing teams. Damnit. Freaking Bandit just ripped Flat Rat out from under me. Yes. Bandit made me do the work and reaped the reward. This is after he copied me in an email response to Charlie (Flat Rat Co-Founder) where he tells Charlie that he should call him next week. I dug what Flat Rat was up to and posted immediately, much to Charlie’s enjoyment.
Now Bandit says Bikernet is going to sponsor Flat Rat and Charlie is going to put another team together and I’m going to sponsor them. And we’re going to race against each other. Great. He gets former National Champions in vintage bike racing and I get…? Oh man, I hope these new dudes are as ****** off as I am because IT’S ON, MOTHERF***ERS! We’ll show Bikernet how a little grease and a lot of beer changes nations! So I called this guy:
While he sounded a lot like Sonny Barger on the phone, I understood that our undisclosed team from possibly Nevada would win a lot with little blowback and that Flat Rat will never win another vintage championship, just like the Buffalo Bills never won a Super Bowl. When I asked him about the Saints, he coughed and I swear I heard him smirk. Then he told me to wire him a million dollars by noon and hung up. I hope he pulls the race team from their cryogenic tubes anyway and sends them Charlie’s way so he thinks they’re just regular dudes, not cyberacers from the future.
All right. All kidding aside. Bandit, it’s on! Charlie, set us up with fun-loving, hard-racing dudes and I’ll do my best to get the readers of bikerMetric to see their races, offer assistance and buy them beers afterward. We’ll all have beers afterward! F**k you! I love you!
Okay. Seriously now. Here are a couple of photos taken by an incredible photographer, Jason Maris. He is documenting a vintage bike photo essay, exploring everything “from the garages to the race track, with everything in between.” Lucky Jason, Dean Middleton (Flat Rat Co-Founder) is the shop foreman at Fuller Hot Rods, the *******. So Jason gets a killer garage to start documenting this:
Beautiful photo, man. I’ve seen a few from this shoot and Jason really has something going.
Now the nice stuff is over. Back to the race teams. I like a good challenge. After all, I can take 49 baboons in a fight armed with only a giant *****. I think bikerMetric can take on Bikernet and kick ***! I’ll be counting on you metric heads to help and so will our team. So drink up and start a revolution, because nobody is going to do it for you.
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