friday’s post of cool stuff #23: dedicated to locomotives

Die Antwoord! Dig the following attitude fom a Ganja-bombed South African white trash gangsta rapper with jailmade tats done alone in front of a shiny bit of stainless, a hot spinner babe with perfect **** and a monstrous mullet, and a silently fat dj who glares at you like he knows what you’re thinking. It’s f***ing great.

Check out their website to see some amazing photography and read such gems as, “After NINJA lied and cheated his way through high school, he moved to Alexandra Township in Johannesburg to smoke zol with the rastas. NINJA stayed in Alexandra in 19th Street down by the river for a few years living off boiled cabbage and zol. During this time NINJA started a rap group called The Original Evergreens which had a heavy stoned alien rastas in space vibe,”

“NINJA has known YO-LANDI VI$$ER for a very long time from when she was a little laaitie. One day when NINJA moved back home with his mom & dad again he saw that little YO-LANDI from next door had grown some ***** and a nice ***,”

“Then NINJA had a baby with YO-LANDI by accident. NINJA and YO-LANDI are not married. They are just good friends. YO-LANDI likes to do her own thing and doesn’t like people telling her what to do,” “NINJA’S name is NINJA. If you see NINJA in the streets act like you know. Don’t act like a poes and call him some other name,” and “Soon after this NINJA went to go visit his homeboy DJ HI-TEK who makes fat gang$ta rap beats on his PC Computer in his bedroom. So NINJA and DJ HI-TEK joined forces and tried think of a spif name for their new zef gang$ta rap group they were going to start. DJ HI-TEK got the idea to get a sexy chick to join the group to make it more commercial. So NINJA started to train little YO-LANDI VI$$ER to rap. During her ninja rap training YO-LANDI got the idea to add some rave vibes to their tjoons and make their zef rap group more even more next level.”

Finally, one page ends with the exclamation, “In your fokken face b**ch.”

They’re going to be in LA on July 17 at NYC on July 24. If any of you find this as cool and hysterical as I do and go, send me photos and I’ll link to your gay blog. Deal?

The next interview article is top secret and won’t be published until after the FREEDOM or DEATH Motorbike Bash. Just know that people at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration are aware of it and they could care less.

Regardless of their threatening apathy, at the appropriate time, I’m going to hip you to a little company that is doing for real what those wankers at Mac were yapping about last year with 3D renderings of $16,000 cafe thumpers powered by Buell Blast motors (Doh!).

The difference between Mac and the dudes I’m interviewing is that, unlike Mac (which will ever manufacture a motorcycle), these guys are really making bikes. They are manufactured and assembled – by hand – by Americans in California, and they cost between five and ten grand, depending on stuff. Plus, their powerplant is superior to the Blast, which really was kind of a piece of sh*t.

To your right is a French anti-smoking advert. Translated into American it states “Smoking is to be the slave of tobacco.”

Since when are BJs slavery? F***ing Frenchmen. I thought for sure them dudes invented the act before now. You know, a French kiss but with your ****?

In your fokken face, b**ch!

I love Friday! Sure hope you metric mofos are laughing. Friday posts are not to be taken very seriously. Just be glad I decided not to post that 50 line poem.

Anyway…. How many kinks are represented in the French fetish photo? At least four that I can see, but I’m a pervert.

Alliterations. Say them. They’re fun.

If, for some strange/lucky reason, any bM reader knows anything about this bike, and/or it’s builder/rider, please email me at trent at bikermetric dot com. Thanks.

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