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******** with noobs

Mr.Mischief and Shawn signed up for a piece of world domination recently. I’m so glad because when I met them at a party in Jersey, they were kind enough to send me a photo of them and a pal of theirs.

The dude on the right is Guido Splooducci. He’s like my most rad bro ever. Thanks for sending the pic, bro! See you at the pool party, bro! It’s your turn to bring the Michelob Ultra! The b**ches love that sh*t!


And bro, have you seen a pic of me lately? Should I, like, get a tanning salon membership or just find some ***** who works at one like you did?

Thus we end The bikerMetric Corner of Evil. Comments about pink lipstick, douchebags, and pointing at cameras can be sent to judgemejudgeyou@helliscoming.com. Thank you.

Stay tuned next week for interviews with Big Bird, Ronald McDonald and Jesus, who would like us to mention that he loves you and yes, people taste like chicken.

Thanks for coming by guys. I really appreciate your support. Next beer is on me.


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