Home / Friday's Post of Cool Stuff / friday’s post of cool stuff #26: beer and guns

friday’s post of cool stuff #26: beer and guns

Is this cool? I don’t know any more. I thought I did, but I’m not sure:

The great part about that video is found at the 35 second mark, where you can see it leak a drop of oil.

As has been written, I think in the LA Times and a couple other places, this bike took “2,000 man hours” to build and it still leaks oil. How much did somebody pay for that bike, again?

the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

I am not a mechanic, so maybe I’m missing something. Why is the Falcon Kestrel so cool? With that video I’m reminded of the Family Guy moment where they riff on how that black dude must be rich because everything he has is white. It isn’t supposed to be politically correct but I’m actually offended by that drop of oil. It leads me to think of my latest slogan. “Are you what’s true or what’s money?”

Truth being a subjective ideology which contends that reality exists and money merely being something sentience hallucinated.

According to the L.A. Times, the Falcon founders won’t disclose the price tag on the Kestrel, “the second official Falcon bike.” There are unofficial ones? I kid, I kid. Regardless, the folks at Falcon prefer to use the term “priceless” when describing what the Kestrel costs. The Times wrote that 2,000 hours is more than double the amount of time it took to build the $45,000 Falcon Bullet. Now, multiply by two, carry the bull***t…. hm.

It takes 800 man-hours to make the body of a Rolls-Royce Phantom VI. Isn’t a motorcycle bobber body a fender and a tank? 2,000 hours for one motorcycle. I don’t get it. I’m going to have to but from my working man’s seat, that kind of labor seems like overkill, a government contract, and a waste.

This is going to upset some folks but for 90 or 100 grand, my motorbike better not be leaking oil. Especially while it’s being profiled in a High Def video that is undeniably intended to form the belief in the mind of the viewer that the brand is “high-end” and “elegant, two-wheeled art,” as has been published by and about Falcon repeatedly in the past year.

When did an oil stain under your high-end and elegant piece of art become a fad?

i love you in blood

Does elegant art leak now? **** is called art by some, and it leaks, but it will never be considered “elegant.”

The Kestrel has been likened to punk rock by a guy many consider a luminary in the vintage motorbike scene. Punk rock doesn’t cost six figures. Punk rock is a safety pin through your f***ing face. It’s my punk rock opinion that the Falcon brand is manufactured cool and the Kestrel is overpriced and obsessively marketed to make you think it’s value is great. How is that punk rock?

The 750cc cylinders of this bike’s motor were machined in-house from a solid block of aluminum. Why bother doing that if it’s still going to leak oil. Why use silver solder on every weld if it’s going to leak oil? Are there are builders who put that much time into their machines? Do their vintage motors leak oil?

Again, I am not a mechanic, but is there something I am unaware of with a Triumph motor nobody has told me? How can one that seems to have been literally re-manufactured with the latest and greatest materials and tools leak? I don’t care how hard you ride it one afternoon, nobody has ever said “Yeah. All old Trumps leak oil. Especially the ones machined in-house from a solid block of aluminum.”

I wonder if it has ever been ridden when there wasn’t a film crew or a bunch of people who edit obsequious blogs and magazines present. It’s really getting to me.

There are guys building incredibly clean and well-engineered Brit bobbers for 1/10th of the cost of a Falcon. You could call them the unofficial Falcon motorcycle makers. The Dodge Challengers to the Mercedes Benz SLS AMG Panamericans. Assuming the Benz leaks oil and has no rear suspension.

triumph bobber | helrich custom cycles
sleep the sheep

It’s no wonder someone recently told me I was profiling nothing on bikerMetric but “old swap meet stuff.” I was wrong to think that the reasonably priced stuff was better than unreasonably priced stuff. Everybody and their dog thinks the Falcon Kestrel is the coolest thing since Jesus made wine and danced. That’s why they all make money with their blogs and I’m broke. Oh wait. That’s because I pulled a hillbilly stunt and cut half my arm off. Takes a while to heal from that.

Honestly, I was broke before then, so it’s obvious that bM needs to focus on getting sponsors who sell $200 jeans, $800 helmets, $100 tee shirts, and cologne “designed to fringe on unisex.” Seriously. Many of you have visited the very popular website that hawks that metrosexual ****. The guy who runs it is cool but sheesh, man! Have some pride!

That’s just as well. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that nobody involved in making the ForD, or anybody who reads my mad ramblings here, cares to be even remotely associated with effeminate cologne and over-priced elitist ****. Oh well, it looks like I’m with the affordable and well-made stuff by Biltwell and Lowbrow (thanks for the swag for our bash, guys!). I’m with Zombie and Gabe, Busch and 7 Metal.

Ruby is a color of lipstick. Carbon fiber is for rich people.

There. Now that I’ve ****** a bunch of you off, here are some things for the working man:

rusty honda twin exhaust from the flea market
vintage springer fork assembly diagram

Now for something that doesn’t leak.

honda fury and a skelebabe
mercedes benz sls amg panamericana

Yes, we’re really obsessively marketed, but at least we’re reasonably priced. All these cool images? Free.

1971 dodge challenger

Did a cool thing with the builder interviews page, mofos. Instead of scrolling through all the articles, there are thumbnails for each that are easy to click so you can read interviews with the folks on the forefront of the metric motorcycle revolution.

[UPDATE 06.26.12: did you know after writing stuff like this i got an interview with ian and amaryllis of falcon? it took almost six months to convince them and complete, but for those of you who think as i did two years ago when i wrote this post, you might learn something. CHECK IT OUT HERE.]
read bikerMetric builder interviews here >>

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  1. This is where art and motorcycles collide. They sell art in the form of a motorcycle. I prefer motorcycles as machines. Whatever you call them they are bound by the laws of physics. I suspect the drip you see there is a product of crankcase ventilation they have to vent and most custom bikes route that to the ground somewhere. Cars and stock bikes sent that back through combustion process because they’re bound by emission laws. So on the subject of the leak perhaps a little harsh but hey it’s you’re site and it’s an op-ed…
    On the subject of price and exposure you have to put the bike in the frame of art not machine. I think people are paying them for art and to say I have a one off piece of rolling art. They would balk at my take on it but what else explains the price? In my mind, weak as it is, they live and operate in a different world than I do. The only thing we have in common is a vehicle with two wheels. Mine comes from a dirty garage with the intent of tearing across the country side with tents tied to it. Theirs comes from a studio with the intent of being a conversation piece for the owner and friends, if it gets ridden that’s a bonus. I guess based on this posting they were effective.

  2. Being a mechanic, and also one who has worked on a few “famous” cars I totally get the idea that you are putting out there about the price of any vehicle. I agree with Juan Carlos above in the fact that the crankcase breather may have contributed to the “drip”, or it could have been chain lube. The people who pay the escalated prices are same ones that set the prices in the first place. They are not looking for the value of the machine only the status of owning a “one off” product. If you look at the man hours put in, does that include the casting of custom frame pieces, or the initial concept? Or did they just throw a number out there to appease the media and the owners. we won’t know. The one thing is….. can it be ridden? apparently it can as shown by the video. That is more than I can say for many $200-$300K custom cars out there. My saying is… If you build it, They will buy it. The people with disposable income, or daddy’s money have no care in the world what a bunch of middle class blue collar workers think of the price they paid for said “art”. That being said, I cannot fathom paying the price for many of these “works of art”. Just look at what a one off OCC bike goes for, or a Boyd Coddington car goes for. Neither are useful as transportation at all but the one who actually set the price ( The Buyer) is happier that a pig in **** just for the chance to own such a pile, errr… work of art. Understandably if you paid $90K you want something that is built with gold bullion to feel that it has any worth. You and I and most of the subs on this list are not the upper 2% that can just throw money around. You must also realize that they are not mechanics and don’t understand the way you and I do that this thing was a pile that the builder paid 300 bucks for six months ago. We need to see the value in what we are spending our hard earned cash for and if I had a chance to get some sucker to pay that much for a custom chop I really don’t think I would feel bad for them one bit. If you educate yourself with what it is you want, you won’t be taken to the cleaners. Would I pay 90K for that bike? **** NO! If someone who felt the value of said bike was 90K would i sell it? **** YES! The buyer sets the price always. Just go watch a rerun of the Barrett Jackson auction…… As P.T. Barnum once said…. There is a sucker born every minute. Sorry for the rambling, I get a little long winded about **** I have no idea about. (insert laugh track)

  3. my dad, an electrical emgineer, laughs his *** off at my 67 bonny. to him it’s a jar off **** with a crucifix in it. but to me, ahhhh the fact i brought it from a rolling basket to winning best bike. i saw this bike and thought, oh nice board tracker..i could do that for 7k easy, inverted levers,79 bucks, alien or vincent re pop tank whatever.is it art? well art sucks when it’s a motorcycle and it’s sitting on the side of the road, or your kicking it to death at the cabbage patch. to me robert mapplethorpe just ****** in a glass and dropped a crucifix in it. wish i had his agent.i’ve seen way cooler bikes all **** day at willie’s.

  4. it was actually andres serrano who created and photographed the infamous “**** christ.

    i think at least twice a month i write something as, or more, radical than his art.

    as a born again christian, i leave his work to be judged by many who have no say, and embraced by *** who knows very well the son he became to live and struggle and die for us has become a mere tool to wave for war.

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