Is this cool? I don’t know any more. I thought I did, but I’m not sure:
The great part about that video is found at the 35 second mark, where you can see it leak a drop of oil.
As has been written, I think in the LA Times and a couple other places, this bike took “2,000 man hours” to build and it still leaks oil. How much did somebody pay for that bike, again?
I am not a mechanic, so maybe I’m missing something. Why is the Falcon Kestrel so cool? With that video I’m reminded of the Family Guy moment where they riff on how that black dude must be rich because everything he has is white. It isn’t supposed to be politically correct but I’m actually offended by that drop of oil. It leads me to think of my latest slogan. “Are you what’s true or what’s money?”
Truth being a subjective ideology which contends that reality exists and money merely being something sentience hallucinated.
According to the L.A. Times, the Falcon founders won’t disclose the price tag on the Kestrel, “the second official Falcon bike.” There are unofficial ones? I kid, I kid. Regardless, the folks at Falcon prefer to use the term “priceless” when describing what the Kestrel costs. The Times wrote that 2,000 hours is more than double the amount of time it took to build the $45,000 Falcon Bullet. Now, multiply by two, carry the bull***t…. hm.
It takes 800 man-hours to make the body of a Rolls-Royce Phantom VI. Isn’t a motorcycle bobber body a fender and a tank? 2,000 hours for one motorcycle. I don’t get it. I’m going to have to but from my working man’s seat, that kind of labor seems like overkill, a government contract, and a waste.
This is going to upset some folks but for 90 or 100 grand, my motorbike better not be leaking oil. Especially while it’s being profiled in a High Def video that is undeniably intended to form the belief in the mind of the viewer that the brand is “high-end” and “elegant, two-wheeled art,” as has been published by and about Falcon repeatedly in the past year.
When did an oil stain under your high-end and elegant piece of art become a fad?
Does elegant art leak now? **** is called art by some, and it leaks, but it will never be considered “elegant.”
The Kestrel has been likened to punk rock by a guy many consider a luminary in the vintage motorbike scene. Punk rock doesn’t cost six figures. Punk rock is a safety pin through your f***ing face. It’s my punk rock opinion that the Falcon brand is manufactured cool and the Kestrel is overpriced and obsessively marketed to make you think it’s value is great. How is that punk rock?
The 750cc cylinders of this bike’s motor were machined in-house from a solid block of aluminum. Why bother doing that if it’s still going to leak oil. Why use silver solder on every weld if it’s going to leak oil? Are there are builders who put that much time into their machines? Do their vintage motors leak oil?
Again, I am not a mechanic, but is there something I am unaware of with a Triumph motor nobody has told me? How can one that seems to have been literally re-manufactured with the latest and greatest materials and tools leak? I don’t care how hard you ride it one afternoon, nobody has ever said “Yeah. All old Trumps leak oil. Especially the ones machined in-house from a solid block of aluminum.”
I wonder if it has ever been ridden when there wasn’t a film crew or a bunch of people who edit obsequious blogs and magazines present. It’s really getting to me.
There are guys building incredibly clean and well-engineered Brit bobbers for 1/10th of the cost of a Falcon. You could call them the unofficial Falcon motorcycle makers. The Dodge Challengers to the Mercedes Benz SLS AMG Panamericans. Assuming the Benz leaks oil and has no rear suspension.
It’s no wonder someone recently told me I was profiling nothing on bikerMetric but “old swap meet stuff.” I was wrong to think that the reasonably priced stuff was better than unreasonably priced stuff. Everybody and their dog thinks the Falcon Kestrel is the coolest thing since Jesus made wine and danced. That’s why they all make money with their blogs and I’m broke. Oh wait. That’s because I pulled a hillbilly stunt and cut half my arm off. Takes a while to heal from that.
Honestly, I was broke before then, so it’s obvious that bM needs to focus on getting sponsors who sell $200 jeans, $800 helmets, $100 tee shirts, and cologne “designed to fringe on unisex.” Seriously. Many of you have visited the very popular website that hawks that metrosexual ****. The guy who runs it is cool but sheesh, man! Have some pride!
That’s just as well. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that nobody involved in making the ForD, or anybody who reads my mad ramblings here, cares to be even remotely associated with effeminate cologne and over-priced elitist ****. Oh well, it looks like I’m with the affordable and well-made stuff by Biltwell and Lowbrow (thanks for the swag for our bash, guys!). I’m with Zombie and Gabe, Busch and 7 Metal.
Ruby is a color of lipstick. Carbon fiber is for rich people.
There. Now that I’ve ****** a bunch of you off, here are some things for the working man:
Now for something that doesn’t leak.
Yes, we’re really obsessively marketed, but at least we’re reasonably priced. All these cool images? Free.
Did a cool thing with the builder interviews page, mofos. Instead of scrolling through all the articles, there are thumbnails for each that are easy to click so you can read interviews with the folks on the forefront of the metric motorcycle revolution.
[UPDATE 06.26.12: did you know after writing stuff like this i got an interview with ian and amaryllis of falcon? it took almost six months to convince them and complete, but for those of you who think as i did two years ago when i wrote this post, you might learn something. CHECK IT OUT HERE.]
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