whew…

killer day. do you know how much a can of cafe du monde coffee costs in freaking knoxville?

thirteen bucks! at some f***ing “organic” market where the kids wear fur and the adults have no clue what a dollar is/was worth. i spent two hours on google researching and making phone calls in this backwards-assed burg and now it’s all i can do to not go back with molotov cocktails made with a few malt liquor bottles i have laying around for some reason and burn a few self-entitled, escalade-driving ***** to ****.

arg. i’ve never paid more than $7 for a can of cafe du monde.

wish i had something concrete for you mofos but all i gots is promises. here they be:

spoke with chris flechtner from speed shop design for probably 90 minutes today. we’ve been working on an interview for over a month that got out of hand because he went off on a tangent about his childhood (it was a good childhood) and well, our phone convo went the same way because i can’t shut up and often interrupt or change the subject at random. all i can say is chris, you’re lucky i was sober.

so all i have is pretty pictures. i will endeavor to edit the interview with chris on christmas day. that’s saturday for you heathens.

ever been killed by a frying pan? or a spatula?

as for wars based on religion, i reject any *** that would have me kill to prove my *** is best. killing to be free from those who transgress upon my liberty is another matter.

regarding the video, it’s not that there’s anything wrong with france. i like their fries and they backed us against england 225 years ago. and the statue of liberty is ****. and toast! can’t forget french toast. yum. and surrealism! and motart!

for those of you operating chinese built sarcasm meters, you’ll need to recalibrate them now.

now for bikes. european bikes. first, a 50cc simson transformed into a clean little cafe:

most americans don’t know a ton about what really happened in europe after ww2.  much like the far east today, the emerging economies of a devastated continent needed transportation and the most economical manner to move was by little mopeds and motorbikes.

simson once made great bikes in germany before the war, but became relegated to moped making by the 1960’s due to intervention by soviet overseers. regardless of the demise of a great motorbike company, mopeds were a cheap and easy way to get around and many young adults got their first taste of riding by owning 50cc scooters made by many manufacturers throughout europe.

these pix were provided by a member of the bikerMetric facebook page, ismeretlen akárki. thanks, man! the history of eastern european motorcycle culture is an interesting thing.

now to the edgier side of custom euro bikes. one night i had a few beers and posted a pic by a british legend in chopper building, mister robbie. he was working on an nsu chop. the motor is a inline-three of 583ccs 1000cc prinz inline four. the prinz was an nsu brand german mini car.

thanks for the help, robbie.

dig the latest pic of the bike’s progress:

not the best photo with the busy background but robbie’s a chopper builder, not a photographer who cares about composition. according to mr. robbie, he made a stainless suicide shifter, a stainless kick start, polished the gearbox cover, fitted new seals, and “lots of little things.” i see some of them. the bars for one. this bike is going to be wicked. check his blog for more photos and regular updates on this beast.

what else? how about a classic 1951 vincent rapide rebuilt by rip tragle the born again luddite?

and finally, a 150cc two-stroke sachs 4-speed from 1953. i posted it about a month ago but wanted to add some info about the bike and the sachs brand.

the bike pictured here went 50mph/80kph and was made in germany. sachs motorcycles was founded in 1886 in schweinfurt and they are allegedly the world’s oldest motorcycle builder. their motors were used by dozens of manufacturers including aprilia, dkw, hercules, ktm, messerschmit (the same company that built the killer fighters in ww2 and the world’s first operational jet plane), sears, and victoria. they now make scooters, electric bikes and motorcycles up to 125cc that cost a whopping $2,900 (£1,900/€2,200). three grand for a this?

no, the name isn’t a joke. i know sauerkraut makes you farty but jeez. it looks cool and is that enough? honda makes the twister 110 for $900. it looks cool, too. plus, it’s called the twister, not the crazybutt. sheesh. freaking germans. rumor has it the bikes are made in china anyway and by looking at this bike, i get a feeling that it’s true. they must have named it in chinese and translated it to english using google.

wait…. you know what i just realized? this post started with coffee and coffee makes you ****. a bunch of it will give you a “mad ***.” a perfect literary circle and i didn’t even do that on purpose.

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