**** science + bicycles = television show

Robert Maddox builds jet powered bicycles. A friend sent me some YouTube flavor and a link to Wired’s blog. Here’s a taste.

Historically, the pulse jet motor was developed by Swede Martin Wiberg (1826-1905) at the turn of the 20th century. They are simple and cheap to manufacture, have horrible fuel economy, and are loud as ****. Perfect for off-ing people.

In 1931 some German dude got a patent and the Third Reich used the technology to power their V-1 “buzz bombs.” The bombs would have just enough fuel to fly above their targets, then fall when empty. KA-BLAMMO™! One more London church bites the dust.

Regardless, I doubt the creator of these bikes is a ****. He’s just a crazy cat who used to build and sell his jet bikes on eBay for about $8,500. They look pretty slick with their vintage board track styling and white rubber.

Wait.  I thought he wasn’t a ****….

And his helmet is red!

Anyway, the combustion cycle on a pulse jet comprises six phases: Ignition, Combustion, Exhaust, Induction, Compression, and (in the case of Bob’s bikes) Fuel Injection.

Ignite the combustion chamber and pressure is raised by the pulsing explosions of the fuel/air mixture. Almost any fuel will do. The pressurized gas from combustion can’t exit forward through the one-way intake valve and therefore it exits to the rear through the exhaust tube. Thrust!

Now for an earful:

Robert has been making the web quiver for a couple of years since he began making these bikes, and it seems that some fancy production company is going to develop a show where he straps pulse jets to stuff and rides off. That’ll be fun for a season or two. Let’s take bets on how long before he straps one to a Radio Flyer or better yet, a wheelchair.

Actually, they’re going to do it to fancy **** like classic mahogany speedboats. Yawn.

As mentioned, the Reich dug into pulse jet tech with their bombs, but that wasn’t all. After the war it was discovered that they had built prototypes of a pulse jet airplane called the Focke-Wulf Triebflügel. That looks like it means “sexy dog meat in a tube.”

Nope. It’s a frightening Vertical Take-Off and Landing (VTOL) air machine designed for local defense of strategically important factories with no airstrips because the ever-increasing Allied bombing raids were wailing on central Germany.

It didn’t have wings but instead a rotor/propeller assembly in the middle of the craft, placed roughly halfway between cockpit and tailplane, that rotated around the fuselage.

The design had no reaction torque because the rotating wings were driven at the end with pulse jets. The pitch of the blades could be varied with the effect of changing the speed and maybe the pitch.

I know you guys love death machines. Here are artist renderings:

The advantage of the pulse jet is its simplicity. Since there are no moving parts to wear out, they are easy to maintain and simple to construct. However, they are more difficult to optimize.

Stupid Nazis. When will they learn?

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