al always drove an old pickup truck

the marine i swore to hurt when i was fifteen
140 pounds against 220
six-two against five-ten
the crazy prisoner who crippled a homo in a bar
who told me if i was ever in prison to jack off and yell crazy sh*t
to take on the baddest motherf***er
because even if you lose nobody screws with the dude they can't explain
and keep being crazy
he said

he choked a dog to death in front of me
because i wanted to be darth vader for halloween

he found my journal and read and condemned
immediately running away i appeared years later
we shook hands
he tried to crush mine
i held and held and harder than he could take
he said "how long can you take my grip?"
"winner buys beer?"
i smirked and tightened

he lowered his elbow
raised his fist
taking a step back to bring me to my knees as i moved a foot back in retort
and stood still
and laughed about how much beer i could drink
and my strength at 21
meeting his eyes
he stepped closer
changing his grip and his stance
rigid
trying to hold on
i knew what i had gained
it was over

and we stood there for twenty minutes when his friend called it over
we went out for pizza and pitchers of beer
where i matched them both
alone

the crazy marine who raised me
once left an axe on the floor for mom who walked in first
as he got drunk in another county
a threat to cover up his mistakes
hurt or be hurt was the message
as if we were dog sh*t to teach me something i already knew
when i was fifteen
this is the man who made me

and i've hurted him
he drives an oldsmobile