the best custom motorbike of 2011

ta da!

it's robbie's 1100cc inline four nsu chopper from last march. it is rivaled only by darizt at #2. there is no top ten, much less a #3. two teams play. only one wins. the other gets a mention in the history books. everybody else is a loser.

ANNOUNCEMENT from the SPECIAL OLYMPICS:
everybody who competes is a winner! you look thirsty. here, drink some kool-aid...

it also matters how nice you are to me. what? like the other big-ass-everything-is-corporate-white-and-blue websites don't do that? they do. that's why it's all the same motorbike all the time like an aging rock band with one hit doing it over and over for twenty years, changing the lyrics for each "new" song.

what's new this week at bae-cwb? one more fucking tracker from deus. stay tuned tomorrow for another $30,000 bike dipped in black from wrenchmonkees!

screw those privileged assholes with a grand to spend each month for a few big-ass posts about everything they do, which is the same as the last thing they did. at least the ugly americans at occ know how to decorate a cake and always change the paint up. fuck.

you want thousands of art-directed photo shoots of conformity in a studio and 250,000 snooty art fags patting themselves on the back for their overpriced "creations" in the comment section? go to mega-cubicle's corporate machine where they just realized the rat bike is cool. if you want independent views, you're in the right place. live vicariously as i tell people to suck my sharts with regularity.

bikerMetric is radical because liberty is not a tamed animal and i cannot simply post about motorbikes and keep a clean conscience. you want cell phone pix of home-based garage-built swap meet crap and 50,000 readers? here it is.

robbie wins because he is none of those bland and branded things. he is all of the things bM is about. he's been at it for decades, doing as he pleases, slaving away in a tiny garage with what will get him by. he's truly punk rock and his nsu chopper is unique, innovative, 100% custom, raw, and looks like it might turn into a sentient being demanding twinkies and brains. in that order. and you better get them.

so here you go, professor robbie. you are the winner of the 2012 bikerMetric dead banker award for excellence in sticking it to the corporate man!

these photos of robbie's chopper were taken by floris velthuis. yes, i get the irony of fancy pix. robbie's bike was not chosen because of them, they only illustrate how incredibly talented the man is.

CONGRATULATIONS, ROBBIE!

read more about the engine and the history of nsu here. watch out for the farts.

i'd like to thank my best frienemy, chris hunter, for having such a great sense of humor, understanding mine, and not taking himself - or me - too seriously. peace out, mofo. thanks for the hit up.

note to future submissions: this year i'm looking for handlebar-mounted weaponry like the bad guys from mad max or james bond on crack.

finally, will everybody stop with the firestone tires? they're the custom metric builder's answer to the weekend warrior's tribal armband tattoo. they're the affliction t-shirt of the cafe/bobber poser. they handle like shit and cost as much or more than a dozen other rubbers which will actually give you pleasure each time you take a corner. stop being such retro-is-so-cool douchebags. thank you.

for the non-douchebags, be sure to check out robbie's blog at fumes-n-gears!

i feel like upbeat free jazz from japan. that can mean only one thing... cowboy bebop!