welcoming the noobs

it’s been almost a month since we’ve given a shout out to the latest beer-bellied metric *****, the gun-toting trigger fingers, the lonesome mutterers-to-themselves, the f***ing new guys.

bikerMetric has had 15 noobs click the “follow” button. of those 15, i can verify only 12. the other three must be one of these:

Milo “Mr Lucky” Marcer is a wastebook and twatter friend from south africa who runs a tattoo shop in cape town called mr. lucky tattoos. he snags pix and info from bikerMetric without crediting and/or linking back to us. c’mon, man!

milo is “starting from a good, healthy place, deep inside myself” this year and he thinks 2012 is going to be a good one. we can only hope.

vonspeed is bobbed to the bone. bobbed to the bone is vonspeed. i’m so confused.

donnie darko is one of my favorite movies. good to see it here.

finally! kiwi jewelers are represented by HoraceNZ1! he has a pirate flag avatar. no, the image below isn’t a photo of his work.

that could have been a photo of horace’s jewelsmith skills, had he a website linked to his google+ bullsh*t. google+ is bullsh*t. you folks know that, right?

keep not hitting the +1 button at the bottom of every post, folks. it does nothing except give google another way to track what you like. welcome to facebook but without the… well, without anything. it’s like a blog where you pick your own followers. how f***ing boring. especially because all your google+ “circles” are comprised by the people who already “like” you, “follow” you, or are your “friends” on twatter and wastebook and your blogs already. seriously. it’s time-burgling bullsh*t.

Kiran seems to be an indian guy who works in i.t. surprise! his blog can be found at days of the daydreamer. there are some nifty things there, both motorcycle and non-motorcycle related.

Steve has a motorcycle as an avatar and follows only bikerMetric. is that 50 followers like that now? i am beginning to get creeped out by it.

Swagger! hey, motherf***er who says he’s a mad scientist born above a strip club and raised by wolves. in case you didn’t know, this ****** is probably the only reason this post exists. chances are 9-to-1 i’d have dropped bM in it’s entirety three weeks ago like a crack w**** dumps a baby in an alleyway garbage can. instead… wait. he has an avatar of a motorcycle and only follows bikerMetric…. NOOOOOOOOO!

Juan Carlos is back. or is that re-back? was he gone? baby back? i don’t know. all i know is his family swam to america and worked as laborers in coffee and dental floss fields, scrimping to save enough so little carlos could go to technical college and learn how to weld. and weld he did.

check out juan’s blog at suicide wheels. he also put a nice run together in ohio every summer. check out r4yl 4 to find out more.

Ayyub Russell Hamilton is a muslim spy from dubai. well, maybe not, but it rhymed. he might be an artist. or maybe that’s his brother…

i like Michael Zochowski. besides laying his name out for all to see on the DECLARATION OF RE-INDEPENDENCE, he rides a 1997 honda shadow american classic edition 1100. nice cruiser. check his brand new blog out at bikers and bikes.

Radioactive Boyscout is actually todd halterman. i’ve been trying to peg this guy but i can’t.

he’s asked to interview me for some reason and i’m not sure i want to. he has a website at motorcycleinsurance.com and his top post at this moment is a piece about paul sr. being on danald trump’s lame assed second-rate celebrities stabbing each other in the back show. i have a policy of un-friending, un-following, and forever ignoring anybody who gives those occ chumps press, unless it’s derogatory and, in what seems to be standard todd halterman fashion, i can’t figure out if it’s derogatory or just a cut-n-paste of cyril huze or some other blog.

it’s as if he’s a corporate man whose opinion is whatever everybody else’s is. hm. makes me want to post the image below:

lyles is a bartender at an old neighborhood spot a few blocks from my place. he’s a nice guy and bought me a beer one afternoon when i visited for a saints game. i gave him my card and he’s emailed and invited me over again, but i have yet to make it. he knows i’m not drinking any more but i do like to watch saints games in bars with people where i can jump and yell and not make my dog nervous. saturday night we have the detroit lions in town for the saints’ first playoff game on their way to the super bowl.

i should go and make bets that the saints get under ndamukong suh’s skin by halftime and he does something stupid. what’s the over-under betting line for unsportsmanlike conduct penalties for this game?

anyway, thank you all for coming around the internet’s custom motorcycle pirate ship. instead of ending with a babe, take a few seconds and check this informative video out. i guarantee you’ll be surprised:

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